Monday, 30 March 2009

Still alive - and not fat!

Hello. My name's Isabel and I used to write this blog.

Yes, I know, I know... it's been months since I've written in here - but that's partly been a conscious decision. I'm now firmly back in the world of eating and drinking like a normal person and my size 18 self is but a distant memory. Actually, perhaps that's not strictly true - every time I'm in the supermarket or in a restaurant, I have to think about the choices Isabel + 5 stone would make, and then do the opposite, and it's quite exhausting. However, I've been successfully maintaining my weight for the past few weeks but have still enjoyed myself, which is really good to know. In February, I gained a few pounds - but it was a whirlwind month of weddings, birthdays, holidays and other shenanigans, and I've since tried to balance it out in the way that someone who's never been overweight might. But I'm not going to pretend it's easy - for a start, my metabolism is still buggered from so many months of so few calories, so I'm more likely to gain weight than your average person. However, the effort is worth it, as I feel pretty great, if it's OK to say that without sounding like a wanker.

There's been a LOT going on - the biggest thing is definitely the fact that I have a new job, which I start in a couple of weeks. I've been at Heat for six years now and I am incredibly sad to be leaving, but it seems like the right time - and that's partly because of all this. I like the idea of going somewhere completely different where nobody knows the bigger me. I sometimes feel like the people I know now are just waiting for me to trip up and gain weight - although in reality I know that's probably just paranoia on my part, as nobody's that mean. Well, only one or two people anyway.

The love life relaunch has also been and continues to be... interesting. I'm not quite so much of an attention seeker that I'm going to divulge these things here, sorry. I wish I was that shameless, though, as my whole weight loss "journey" has led to some interesting boy-shaped developments, some good, some bad, and it would make for a really meaty and thought-provoking bloggy thing. Ooh, intriguing. But I can't go into it. Ha. Actually, I think some people might be quite relieved to hear that. La la la la la.

What else? I've covered food, work and romance - that's pretty much all there is to life, no? So, let's do some photos. I went to Spain last month, and happened to have my picture taken on the same beach as the last time I went, in March 2008. I'm even clutching the same flip-flops...



And then there was Raj and Tom's wedding a couple of weeks later, where I wore the best dress ever. I delved through the archives and found a photo of myself in a somewhat larger spotty dress back in November 2007. So you can literally spot the difference. Yeah, it's just the mouse ears really, isn't it?

#

For a while I felt a bit repulsed when I looked at old pictures, but that seems to have passed. When I study those two "before" photos, I don't think I looked that bad. I definitely prefer the way I look now, but I don't utterly hate myself in either of those. My good bits are still my good bits, and my bad bits are still my bad bits - they're just scaled-down versions of them.

I do think it's important to regularly remind myself how far I've come, as for the past couple of months I've been deliberately trying to put the whole diet thing behind me and move on, as if I've always been this weight, and I've even been a bit annoyed when anyone else brings it up. However, I need to keep myself in check by looking back from time to time, if that makes sense. While I've partly written this blog entry tonight to shut all the people up who've been nagging me about not updating it, I've mainly written it for my own benefit - it's a bit of a pat on the back for how well I've done, but it's also a kick up the bum to remind me to keep it up.

15 comments:

TommO))) said...

led

Jason Arnopp said...

Hooray!

A friend said...

I really am so proud of what you've done. I can't empathise on the weight issue, but can kind of translate this to my own issue(s) and am jealous of the way in which you've gone about improving your life, as I don't seem to be able to do.

Good luck at The Mirror!

Anonymous said...

Just read your piece in Elle so came here and read your blog. Two things - firstly you should write a novel because your blog had me giggling to myself at my desk (my boss thinks I'm even weirder than ever) and secondly - WELL DONE!! You look stunning! You must be so proud, and deservedly so! :)

Anonymous said...

Oo, the Mirror! I sometimes read the Mirror. It has nice articles about why dready hippies should squat mansions and Tony Benn quotes in it! (Also the crossword is about my level).

You look top in the gorgeous spotty dress, by the way! Slim *and* curvy, like Christina Ricci - I burn with envy!

Lu xxx

Anonymous said...

Hey. I've just read your article in Elle and thought i'd visit your blog to leave a little message.
well done with losing the weight.
I'm a size 18 myself and struggle alot with trying to shift the weight.
I just wanted to say you've been a real inspiration. thank you =]
keep having fun.
Carly

Anonymous said...

Hey. I've just read your article in Elle and thought i'd visit your blog to leave a little message.
well done with losing the weight.
I'm a size 18 myself and struggle alot with trying to shift the weight.
I just wanted to say you've been a real inspiration. thank you =]
keep having fun.
Carly

Cat said...

Another Elle reader here - really enjoyed your piece and your photos look fantastic. Congratulations on the weightloss, the new job, and the rest of it.

Nobody Girl said...

And yet another Elle reader here. Loved your blog, you look fantastic! My best friend is doing Lighter Life at the moment, so I've directed her over here for some inspiration! Well done!!

April Ellis said...

Not another Elle reader? Yup sorry. It's a great article, really inspiring as is your blog. I'm glad you have updated recently, stories like yours are a real inspiration to those of us who battle with will power defeating food demons. You look amazing, well done.

disenchanted said...

Hi like a few others commenting here i read your article in Elle, and thought id read your blog, well, i read it all in one go (am in bed, a tad ill) and just had to say WELL DONE! i was a size 20 5 years ago now, and the moment i got into some 14's was amazing. i know i could do more for myself to make me healthier but im currently happy!
my cousin did lighter life for her wedding and it worked for her too, she looked healthier, fab and got pregnant!
i have to ask tho, where did you get your multicoloured fantastical dress from? i want one! sarah xxxx

clrenwick. said...

Yes, another Elle reader! I really enjoyed reading your peice & thought I'd leave a comment to tell you that I am proper inspired by what you've done! It shows that you really can do anything with motivation :) & congratulations on your weight loss, you really do look a-m-a-z-i-n-g! x

Venetia said...

I also read your article in Elle and the transformation you have gone through is amazing. I am also trying to lose weight - already achieved half a stone in a month! I'm using the alli tablets, I'm not sure if you have heard of them? Though I've only been on them for a week so I don't know how good they really are! I only want to lose up to 2 stone more but I hope I can be as successful as you have been!

jennyroper said...

i'm posting miles later than all the other Elle readers because I live in New Zealand so have only just read it.
I am really impressed by your willpower and motivation but really I'm more impressed with your dress purchases. Dita Von Tees step aside love there's a new hotty in town.
Also I get terribly homesick and reading your blog is like listening to one of my mates yabbering away in a gastropu (ooooh, I wish)
Jenny

Sophie Robinson said...

I'm yet another admirer who read the Elle article, i ripped it out to keep it,re read it again now to remind myself why i kept it, you were so determined and it was very inspiring. I have put off for a while (years!) the fact i need to lose weight and i understood when you said you did honestly feel happy about your life as i feel the same way. This is a great blog, and well done on all your success! :) :)
Sophie