Tuesday 19 August 2008

Yawn

I haven't posted for a few days but don't worry, I haven't fallen off the "wagon", I've just been busy. It might be surprising that someone who no longer eats or drinks can be busy, but I have, so ner. I've visted relatives, watched films, consoled heartbroken friends and, well, that's about it really. But it's all been quite time-consuming.

Speaking of time, it's going so slowly. Which is annoying, as it's not like I've just been sitting at home measuring my thumbs to see if they're a millimetre thinner. Normally, when I'm busy, time whizzes by, but the last week has felt like a month. I think the problem is, other than this diet, I don't have anything exciting to get my teeth into. I'm going to Reading this weekend which would normally be a summer highlight, but now I just feel daunted by the idea of doing a festival without booze (the food side doesn't really bother me, since I can definitely live without greasy £8 burgers and stale £5 bacon sandwiches). Maybe I'm an idiot to still go, but it's a freebie, and I've been every year since the beginning of time, so I don't want to feel that I've missed out. What I'm trying to say is that social things that I'd normally look forward to now fill me with a slight sense of dread, as well as having to worry about the practicalities of making up the foodpacks when I'm not at home or work. I guess the only thing I'm really excited about is the goal of being a size 12 by Christmas - but that seems so remote at the moment.

I'm also worried that I've become really boring. And a quick read-through of what I've just written doesn't really help. I'm no longer generating anecdotes about drunken escapades and adventures, and all I can think about is this diet. But still, I know it's early days and hopefully that will change. At the moment I'm finding it hard to even pick up a book and read without getting distracted by thoughts of Lighter Life. Still, all this means I do feel very motivated to succeed - I haven't even been tempted by food, and am actually enjoying how empowering it all feels. I just wish I could fast forward three months.

Sorry this is so boring, with not a guinea pig in sight (although I have lost another couple since I last wrote, and it's starting to become visible) but, well, I'm boring now. Help!
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1 comment:

Mrs Haines said...

What you say reminds me of the bit in Alex James' biography when he talks about getting off the booze. You know it's a great thing you're doing, but temporarily it's like the sheen has been taken off life. Chances are you feel life has lost a bit of its sparkle and perhaps that you have too, as you're no longer so much the life and soul of the party. Of course, just because that's what you may be thinking doesn't mean it's true.

Ok, getting drunk does provide amusing anecdotes but it also holds you back a bit. How many times have you planned to do something and been unable to because you're too hungover? Or wasted weekends in bed feeling like death? I began to feel a bit uneasy when I realised that at every family occasion I'd been to in the preceding few years I'd turned up nursing a huge hangover (my family get together fairly often!) Plus, drunken Isabel isn't the real Isabel. People like you for who you are on an everyday (sober) basis because you're lovely. And not at all boring!

What it does mean is that you may need to change your lifestyle - for a while at least. Festivals, bars, restaurants and all the usual trappings of a busy single life London do lose their appeal to some extent. I can sit in a bar and not drink, but I get bored very easily and certainly won't be staying until closing time. It also highlights how much the British social life revolves around drinking and eating.

On the up side, it's a good chance to do some of the things on offer in London that you just never get round to, mainly because they are on your doorstep and you can do them anytime.

Anyway, I hope this doesn't come across as preachy! It's just fascinating that this whole thing will change you in more ways than making you a size 12. It doesn't mean you have to be a paragon of virtue for the rest of your life, but I'm sure it will have a big psychological impact that will mark a change for a happier more balanced you.

Good luck at Reading - my top tip for a sober person is to take your iPod to block out noise of drunken idiots in the camp site and a book to read if you wake up early. I read two books at the festival I went to when I wasn't getting wasted.
xxx

20 August 2008 at 12:57

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